Dr. Marguerite Ord
Acting Head, Office of Containment
Holds the Institute record for retractions (eleven). Acting head since the previous head became unavailable.
Closed to Visitors Until Further Notice
Office of Containment
The Office of Containment is closed to visitors until further notice. This page is provided for information only. Please do not attempt to visit the East Wing.
Overview
The Office of Containment makes sure that what the Institute studies stays where the Institute is studying it. It is a quiet office, and on most days nothing happens in it at all.
The Office is currently closed while it reviews its procedures. This review is routine. Any sounds you may hear from the East Wing are part of the review.
Any member of the public who comes across a small man, about seven inches tall, with notably large hands, is asked not to approach him, not to shake his hand, and not to offer him a jar.
Faculty
[Name withheld]
Containment Officer
Night shift. Swears the knocking only comes at three.
[Name withheld]
Containment Officer
Was holding the lid. Put it down for one minute.
Current Research
[Withheld] Classified
Where does he go on Thursdays.
[Withheld] Classified
What is the knocking in the East Wing.
Lid Procedures Review Urgent
A full review of who holds the lid, and for how long, and whether they put it down.
Findings
- The Office would like to speak with whoever left the lid off.
- It was not the wind.
- † As of last count.