Parvus Homo, Magna Residua
Advancing the study of very small men since 1647.
The Modulous Institute is the world’s foremost, and only, center for the rigorous study of the humunculous: its origins, its habits, and what is left over when it is divided.
About the Institute
Founded in 1647 by the alchemist Ezekiel Modulous after a laboratory accident he described only as “unexpectedly successful,” the Institute has spent nearly four centuries asking the questions others are too large to ask.
Our work rests on the Modulous Principle: that any quantity, divided carefully enough, leaves behind something small, and that the something small is usually looking at you.
“He was seven inches tall when I made him. I have measured him every day since, and he has been seven inches tall every day, except Thursdays.” E. Modulous, Laboratory Diaries, vol. III
From the Field Guide
Handshakes
Last an average of 4 minutes 12 seconds. The record ran from a Thursday to the following Tuesday.
Diet
Leftovers only. Offered a full meal, a humunculous will wait politely until it is a leftover.
Habitat
Jars, drawers, flour bins, the walls of older buildings. Never cupboards.
Departments
Applied Smallness
Practical research into getting small things to do things. Current focus: doorknobs.
The Department of Remainders
Studies what is left over. Every result is reported modulo seven, for reasons the department declines to share.
Jar Sciences
Lids, seals, airholes and the ethics of all three. Home to the Institute’s historic jar collection, currently one jar short.
Theoretical Hands
Why are the hands so large? A question the department has held open, with great difficulty, since 1702.
Office of Containment
Closed to visitors until further notice.
Recent Publications
- On the Reluctance of the Humunculous to Be Measured Thistlewaite, P. & Ord, M. J. Homunc. Stud. 41(3) · 7–7.
- Seven Into Twenty-Three: Notes on What Remains Achterberg, S. & Demeester, R. Proc. Modulous Inst. 112 · 2–9.2
- Hands: Why So Many? Okonkwo-Bell, T. Theoretical Hands Quarterly 9(1) · 1–48.
- A Survey of Jar Preferences (n = 7; three respondents declined) Greaves, W. & Perzyk, P. & Raman-Holt, P. & Tull, D. Lid 3 · 14–16.
- Retraction: “Retraction: ‘Specimen H‑7 Is Accounted For’” Ord, M. J. Homunc. Stud. 41(4) · n.p..
Announcements
- Dr. Paul Perzyk’s 41st application to keep a specimen at home has been received. The committee thanks him for his patience, and for the jar.
- The East Wing will remain closed while we look into the sounds.
- Congratulations to Dr. Marguerite Ord on her eleventh retraction.
- Reminder: do not feed the specimens after the third remainder.
- The staff kitchen’s small door is not a cupboard. Please stop putting things in it.
Admissions & Fellowships
The Institute admits one fellow per year, or seven every seven years, whichever is fewer. Applicants should be curious, patient, and of no more than average height.
Applications are reviewed by committee. The committee meets in the East Wing.
Visiting the Institute
Room 7, mod 4
The Institute
Please knock quietly.
Visitors must sign out the same number of times they sign in.