Condition of manuscript
Survives: Abstract, Table 1, Conclusion
Lost: Introduction, Methods, most of the Discussion, the calipers
Abstract
Over forty-one years we tried to measure Specimen H‑7 using every instrument available to the Institute. Every method gave the same result: seven inches. The specimen nonetheless objected to each one in turn. We report the measurements, the objections, and a recommendation.
Results
| Method | Result | Specimen’s response |
|---|---|---|
| Wooden ruler | 7 in | Looked at the ruler for a long time. |
| Tape measure | 7 in | Retracted the tape. Then retracted it again. |
| Calipers | 7 in | Took the calipers. |
| Laser rangefinder | Not recorded | Stood behind the laser. |
| Asking him | “Seven.” | Did not elaborate. |
Table 1. Measurements of Specimen H‑7, 1984–2025. Thursdays excluded (see Mbeki-Lowe, forthcoming).
Discussion (fragment)
…from which we conclude that the specimen is seven inches tall, and that he does not like being told so. Whether he objects to the number or to the telling remains unclear. Dr. Ord notes that he seemed “fine about the number.”
Conclusion
Further measurement is not recommended. The calipers, if found, should be returned to Room 7a.
Cite as: Thistlewaite, P. & Ord, M. (2025). On the Reluctance of the Humunculous to Be Measured. J. Homunc. Stud. 41(3) · 7–7.