Specimen H-5 · Survey Respondent E
The Tenant
Lives behind the small door in the staff kitchen. Facilities maintain it is a cupboard. H‑5 maintains it is a flat.
Catalogue record
Resident (behind the small door)
- Catalogue no.
- H-5
- Acquired
- 1923 (or 1923 acquired us)
- Origin
- Found living behind the small door in the staff kitchen
- Height
- 6⅞ in
- Hands
- Large, house-proud
- Jar
- Not applicable. Has a flat.
- Temperament
- Private, tidy, firmly residential
Notes
H‑5 was discovered in 1923 when a member of staff opened the small door looking for the tea towels. The tea towels were there, folded, and so was H‑5.
It has never been moved into a jar. Successive directors have decided it is easier to treat it as a tenant. It receives post. Dr. Brannock of Applied Smallness was last seen kneeling at its door, and the Institute would like to know whether he went in.
Observation log
- 1923 Discovered. Asked for the door to be closed. It was.
- 1964 A small brass number 5 appeared on the small door. Nobody had ordered one.
- 2024 Jar Preference Survey returned unopened, marked “not at this address.”
- Mar 2026 Dr. Brannock knelt at the small door and knocked. Three times.